In the words of the author AnnMarie Kelly of The Five Year Marriage – available Now HERE
Relationship Reset is a good one for good intentions resulting in happy manifestations and for January & February…actually, because of covid, probably for the next 6 months . I originally created it to help a woman who, in April, called and said “I just can’t look at his face another day.” In April we didn’t know covid confinement would last so long. By May, based on conversations with women, it was clear it was going to be a very long slough. It was hard on every couple.
The way I explain Relationship Reset is to compare it to an electrical storm that causes the power to go out. It’s temporary, but when you don’t have heat, can’t cook, and your devices don’t work, it seems like the end of the world. Then, when the power does come back, you have to reset…the clocks, the coffeemaker, devices, etc.
Things happen in every relationship that do pretty much the same thing…a career change, a lost job, money problems, kids, in-laws, etc. Those things knock the power out and it feels like the end.
A Relationship Reset is important to do from time to time (in the Five-Year Marriage, it’s every five years).
- It’s bringing back the power – the juice – with little things like being polite and remembering what’s good and what’s going right. It’s hard to reset when all you think about is the ugly stuff (like the anger, resentment, missteps).
- Then it’s revisiting… – what’s changed and how has it changed the partners and the relationship.
- Next it’s getting back into sync by rethinking expectations, shared values, spoken and unspoken agreements, and personal and joint goals.
- Once you know where you were then, where you are now and how you got there, it’s time to look forward with an agreement to reconnect by resetting values, renegotiating agreements, goals, and giving each other and the relationship a fresh start.
A relationship reset doesn’t take the place of therapy…though it could lead to therapy (it did in one of my marriages – and made a positive difference). It is about giving each other a chance to start over together.
I have taken away so many important tips from this read and cannot wait to share this book with my spouse.