We recently experienced a passing in our family and though there was an abundance of grieving in our hearts, we made the repass a celebration of life filled with stories, memories and music to match the life lived.
When it comes to family get-togethers, they should be incredibly exciting, right? Those times of the year, like the holiday season, a family reunion, or even a wedding, just add to the excitement of getting to catch up with family members and see how they’re doing. Unfortunately, not every family get-together is going to be exciting. The same goes for old friends, too, specifically when someone passes away. Now, what if you have to travel far for this?
It’s far from ideal, but unfortunately, this is the reality for some who might have loved ones who live further away. Now, grieving is already incredibly challenging, but it becomes even more challenging when you have to juggle everything from a 9 to 5, parenthood, and the travel far, such as a multiple-hour car drive or even having to take a plane. What if you’re the one who has to make the funeral arrangements? Then that’s just another thing on top that you have to deal with, and yes, this can make traveling more challenging.
What Makes It So Hard
Traveling during periods of grief, especially when heading to arrange or attend a funeral, can feel like traversing a stormy sea. It’s far from ideal, and for a bit, you can’t grieve. If you try crying at an airport, you might get a lot of unpleasant looks or someone getting onto you, but you’re grieving, and everyone deals with that at least once in their life. Even though you’re dealing with so many emotions, it’s crucial to find moments of solace and serenity to help soothe your spirit. Here’s how to stay centered and find comfort while traveling during times of grief.
Plan with Gentle Care
In the midst of heartache, even the simplest tasks can feel like climbing mountains. This is why it’s so important to just take a gentle approach to planning your travel arrangements, allowing yourself ample time and space to navigate the process. If possible, lean on the shoulders of supportive friends or family members to assist with logistics.
Just remember to be kind to yourself throughout the planning process, acknowledging that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and take breaks as needed. Yes, it’s easier said than done, and this is going to be so difficult.
What All Do You Need to Do?
If you’re having to travel for this funeral (or soon-to-be funeral), are you the one having to make arrangements? Are you having to do the estate planning? Needless to say, you’re going to be hit with so much you’ll need to do before leaving home, during traveling, and even once you arrive to your desintaiton.
There’s going to be a temptation to rush things, but don’t do that. You should try to clear your mind and think about what’s best for your deceased loved one. Would they have liked for their grave? If you’re on a budget, then bronze headstones from Memorials.com could be a great option. Are you having to pay or is insurance covering this? Would they have preferred an eco-friendly casket? What about the music at the funeral? What would they have wanted?
Honestly, if they already planned and paid for all of this in advance (estate planning included), it will always make things so much easier, but this, sadly still isn’t too common to do. But just give yourself time to think about what has to get done and what’s best. You just don’t want to feel any regret once this is all over.
Be Extra with Self-Care
Thankfully, the world is a little bit kinder when you’re grieving, you’ll find airlines offering bereavement fares, there’s usually bereavement leave for your work, and people are more inclined to show their love and support. So, if the world is showing this support, then you need to support yourself too. You have to show yourself some extra love.
Traveling while grieving can leave you feeling emotionally raw and physically drained. So, by all means, you need to nurture your weary soul along the way. For example, you can take moments to pause and breathe deeply, allowing yourself to feel grounded in the present moment. But it’s also really going to help to just engage in activities that bring you comfort and solace, whether it’s listening to your favorite music, writing in a journal, or simply savoring a warm cup of tea.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
When you’re actually traveling, like driving or taking a plane, it’s going to be hard to do this. It’s okay to show emotions, and you should, but at the same time, you still need to keep calm. Yes, by all means, it’s so hard. But you still need to let yourself feel. Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience, and it’s essential to honor the full spectrum of emotions that accompany it. It’s more than just anger, it’s more than just sadness, it’s pretty deep.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it’s okay to express your feelings in whatever way feels most authentic to you. Give yourself permission to cry, laugh, and remember as you navigate this tender terrain.
Lean on Loving Arms
During times of grief, the support of loved ones can be a lifeline in the storm. It’s pretty obvious, but yes, no matter how close or far away you are, you’ll still need to reach out to friends, family members, or compassionate counselors for comfort and companionship as you journey through this difficult time.
Share your thoughts and feelings openly, allowing yourself to be held in the warm embrace of empathy and understanding. Seriously, just know that you are not alone on this journey and that there are hands reaching out to support you every step of the way.
Try and Find Beauty in Connection
Needless to say, at this moment, you’re having to deal with so much grief, so much chaos, so much, well, everything! While sure this might sound a bit generic, it’s going to really help to just try and find solace in the kindness of strangers, share stories and memories of your loved one with fellow travelers, and take comfort in the small acts of compassion that surround you. Seriously, just remember that even in the darkest of times, there is light to be found in the bonds of love and connection that unite us all.